"Wherever men have lived there is a story to be told." Henry David Thoreau

Thursday, October 8, 2009

The Sky Overhead, aka Redundancies

Another thing to watch for in your final draft is redundancies, the "unnecessary repetition of meaning*." Some examples are: stood up, sit down, murmured softly. (*From The Handbook of Good English by Edward D. Johnson.)

Redundancy also means repeating information throughout the book. As a reader, I don't want to be told the same information on page 10, 25, 75, and 150. As a writer, I know that in a 400-page book, it can be difficult to remember what you wrote a month ago, or last year, depending on how long you've been working on your book. By the time you've gone through your manuscript several times, it's even harder. You won't know for sure if you wrote the same thing several times, or if you just read it too many times. You might have to ask a fellow writer to offer a fresh set of eyes.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

More Polish, Please

In following up on a previous blog about passive voice, I'd like to mention a few other passive voice words and useless words to watch for besides "was" and "were". Keep an eye out for excessive use of the following words: is, are, felt, look, appear, and seem. Change these to active voice when possible.

Many words are expendable. These include qualifiers such as very, rather, quite, really, finally, even, and just. Do a search in your document for these. Eliminate them when possible.

Another word that is often expendable is "that," but check out the rules on this one because its usage can be confusing.

"And" and "but" are not necessary when used at the beginning of sentences, unless you need them for emphasis. Again, use this structure in moderation.

"Well," is another one that you will want to watch for at the beginning of dialogue. "Well, I guess I'll go." Unless you want to show that a person uses this word as part of their speech pattern, or you need it there for a specific emphasis, it can be removed.

Many adverbs (the "ly" words) can be removed, especially those used in dialog, such as "You poor child," he said pityingly. These will clutter your writing if used in excess.

As for adjectives, Mark Twain is quoted as saying, "If you can ever can an adjective, kill it."

As with all fiction writing, you need to know the rules to break them.

And, finally, do as I say, not as I do!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

The Spit Shine


Revisions, edits--call them what you will--they are nothing more than putting the spit shine on your final manuscript. There are a lot of things to watch for during your final spit shine. You might as well start with the easy stuff, and one of the first things to check for is passive voice. I'll admit that I just hate it when members of critique groups get completely anal about the word "was." This is probably my biggest pet peeve. Okay, so it's passive. But it is also part of the English language and sometimes you have to use it. However, in all honesty, sometimes you don't.

In our first draft(s) we often are focused on just getting the story down and so we throw in a lot of passive voice as we rush to the finish. Let's look at a couple of examples of how you can turn the passive voice into an active one. And, in case you're wondering why we do this, it's because active voice puts the reader more firmly in the story and keeps him there.

Here are some examples that aren't the best in the world, but you get the idea.

Bill and Mike were lounging in their chairs by the river's edge.
Bill and Mike lounged in their chairs by the river's edge.

The horse was skittish, not wanting to follow the trail.
The skittish horse did not want to follow the trail. or The skittish horse refused to follow the trail.

Harris Milton was waiting next to his plane, anxious to leave for his next job.
Harris Milton waited next to his plane, anxious to leave for his next job.

Okay, so go search out "was" in your document and get creative using active voice. I'll post a few more revision/editing suggestions on upcoming blogs.